


The Lesbian Barbie Scissor Fiasco

by a_very_visible_ghost



Category: Hamlet - Shakespeare
Genre: F/F, some sexy fun and anti misogyny brilliance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-08 02:24:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21228242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_very_visible_ghost/pseuds/a_very_visible_ghost
Summary: Uploading this literally for 1 person ur all welks to read it tho ✌🏻





	The Lesbian Barbie Scissor Fiasco

Ophelia sits, undisturbed, on the stone steps of the castle. Prayer-book in hand, her eyes wander the page, unseeing.

From afar, Gertrude watches.

Suddenly, Hamlet runs in, heely's on his feet and copy of nietzsche in hand, heading directly for Gertrude

'MOTHER! Thou art a THOT' he blows a raspberry as he utters this, his spit landing on her and dripping slowly down Gertrude's stone-cold (painted >-<) cheeks

'Fuck you son youre just sad i get more pussy than you'

Suddenly, Ophelia appears out of nowhere! (the steps) she, too, is holding a book(bibble), but the pages are not there, the prayers are now stuck to her teeth. She has chewed through the book.

'HAMLET um that is RUDR ur mom is a total bad bitch BABE and IIIII think its HOT'

Gertrude lets out a single, hot tear as she turns towards her. 

Their eyes meet

They meet

Looking deeply

They look away

Their eyes meet

Again

A passionate stare

Theyre staring, deeply, 

It's getting a little uncomfortable

...

Hamlet coughs, rubbing the back of his man bun discreetly (he keeps a little squirrel there, hidden, and feeds it root beer occasionally. The squirrel's name is Horatio 2)

The deafening blast of his orafices snaps the big-titty women back to life, and their breast jingle breastily in surprise

Gertrude looks one more time, but they both can't take the tension anymore

(Neither can hamlet, who just came here to casually slut-shame)

They run towards each other, skirts and breats billowing as they make-out sloppily, the pages still stuck in Ophelia's mouth crinkling and and rubbing their nouths with Sexy papercuts as their lips struggle to touch, getrtude goes to pull them away but opgelia stops her, 'no', she says, 'this is a symbol, an eternal barrier of the repressed society which stands between our love, and our mouths and also sex'

Gertrude kisses her, or rather the bits of the bible stuck to her face, lovingly.

'I dont know what fuck you just said under all that paper, but I love you anyway you crazy bitch-'

She kneels,

And looks up at ophelia, deeply and very Sexily

'Will you do me the honour, of being the harley quin to my big titty anime gf joker?'

Ophelia cries. (Shes happy) They try to kiss again, and fail, but its clear theyre being gay anyway.

Hamlet drops his precious nietzscge, mouty agape and still drooling spit but in a homophobic kinda way as Gertrude and Ophelia cartwheel away to Gertrude's bedroom, stuck together stiffly like two barbies scissoring as they move in synchronised Lust, trailing bits of half-bitten gospels while stacy's mom blasts from the castle's speakers (built in by clauddius when distracting himself from the overwhelming grief of caining his able)

They have sex a lot and hamlet stays a sad virgin who cant drive because there are no cars yet

The END (sexy)


End file.
